TRASH TALK TAKE A WALK!
TRASH TALK TAKE A WALK.
I USE a sports analogy – Trash Talk - to help law enforcement personnel, health care professionals and, of course, the educational professional better understand why I say de-escalation techniques is more an Attitude, or a State of Mind, than a cluster of techniques.
THINK ABOUT IT. What, I ask you, is the motivation behind the concept or phenomenon of trash talking? If you said to distract the other player – the Target of Trash Talk – to focus so much on what his opponent is saying that he loses his focus on the game, that he loses his composure and starts drawing penalty flags and whistles, then you are right on time, Dude.
GREAT ATHLETES are also Great Competitors. And being a great competitor means the athlete has not only been coached to, but has trained himself to deflect barbs, insults, threats and other types of Trash Talk instead of absorbing them.
I SUGGEST, then, that you – the educational professional adopt the same State of Mind, or Attitude. More likely than not, you work in a school rife with insipient aggression and passive-aggressive disruption. Even if you work in a system that is relatively free of most forms of disruptive behavior, you no doubt face The Game of Trash Talk in one or more of its insidious mutations.
Before you engage in mental and verbal “combat” with a student(s), take a deep breath and gird yourself for the inevitable trash talk and make sure you:.
- Obey the Principle of Miunus-1. Always take it down at least one emotional degree from the emotional content of the student.
- Obey the Principle of the 3-S’s: Slow everything down; Soft (triggerless) words; Sincere.
- Identify your personal Triggers and put a Trigger-Guard on Each One.
- Always respond with Professional Instead of Personal Face.
- Remove your Ego from the interaction.
- Deflect Verbal Attacks with Peace Phrases and/or Strip Phrases (which strip the words of all power:
Ø Use Safe Humor. “Bald and fat? I’m bald and fat, you say? I’m flabbergasted, Tommy. Just this morning my wife said I looked just like Brad Pitt!”
Ø Use Shadow Statements (see my last post on defusing aggression).
Ø Use Peace Phrases. “Harry, I thought we could just chat for a second. You and me. What about it?”
Ø Show Respect, no matter how little you feel respect for the Trash talker.
Adopt the State of Mind or Attitude of the Great Athlete Competitor and you will always make Trash Talk Take a Walk.
Until Next Time, Stay Safe.
Hammer
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Posted on February 10th, 2009 by Harry A Widger
Filed under: Administrators, High School, K-6, People Involved, School Grade Level, School Safety Issues, Security, Social skills, Students
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