Howdy, parents, concerned teachers and staff.    I’m pretty sure that most schools are done for the year, so I thought I would start a series of posts directed toward parents of children.  Specifically, parents of young children and even adolescents who still could be targets of the dreaded Chicken Hawk (Sexual Predator).

Then, of course, there is the nasty neighborhood bully.  Not as deadly and not as sick – although just as pathological – I confess, but several run-ins with one or more bullies can assuredly not only ruin your child’s summer, but – and believe me on this – unresolved bullying can mess up your child’s psyche and self confidence, not to mention cause, in some cases, untold physical damage.


  1. According to  Debbie and Mike Gardner’s outstanding How To book – Raising Kids Who Can Protect Themselves – when asked the question, “Do you really feel safe?” it is rare to find a child anywhere in this country who “naturally displays true confidence and belief, who says, “Yes, if attacked, I’ll find a way to be Ok.”
  2. The Gardners go on to say that “when we ask parents about their child’s ability to survive violence, the results are similar.”  Additionally, many parents raise their children the same way they were raised.  The more afraid I will make you, the safer you will be.  A great example is a woman whom I have known for years.  After separating from her husband, she found herself and her two young daughters – 8 and 4 – living alone and in fear.  She would often leave the two girls alone for several hours at a time, often at night, and to make sure they took every precaution to protect themselves against predators, she would tell them to let no one in the house, lest a prowler would break in, rape, torture, cut them up in little pieces, and set them on fire.  Not necessarily in that order.  The one girl would be so unnerved and frightened that she would call her father’s office and talk for hours with one of the officers (her father was a long-time peace officer) who always worked late, just so she wouldn’t have to deal with her fear of some madman breaking in and killing her in the most obscene way.  The other daughter – who is now in her mid-thirties – still, so many years later suffers severe psychological issues regarding fear, relationships, et al.
  3. Instead of Focusing on Exaggerated Fears, Assumed Vulnerability, and Learned Helplessness, which, by the way, is what many of our children inculcate and feel, Parents and their Children would be Better Served by Teaching & Learning COURAGE.  
If you have read any of my posts on evading and escaping sexual predators and even the school bully, you know that I have been encouraging parents to take on the role of their child’s Safety or Courage Coach.  In subsequent posts I will amplify on this role, but, heck-fire folks, it’s not brain surgery.  All one has to do is to consider the confidence your child might actually build upon when his or her safety is taught with positive, courageous language:  I trust your ability to see and fell danger while riding your bike.  Stay on our street and thank you for looking out for yourself.”
According to the Gardners, your child hears” you trust me and believe that I can take care of myself and others today and always—“
Maybe you are thinking that this attitude and philosophy is fine, but can this really protect my child if I do not believe that, when push comes to shove, he/she possesses the mental fortitude and physical ability, or, more importantly, the willingness to fight for his or her survival?  If this is you, then, great.  Because, no, instilling confidence, although a crucial foundation for your child’s learning how to protect him or herself, cannot work unless you, the Courage Coach, is willing to follow the philosophy up with some real substantial skills and attitudes that can help her or him to survive.
Until the next post, stay courageous.



























































It’s summer

Don't miss another post -- subscribe by email or RSS today!

Comments are closed.