ON ENDING CHILD BULLYING IN AND OUT OF SCHOOL

PARENTS:  BE YOUR CHILD’S BULLY-BE-GONE SAFETY COACH!

 

Sheesh, Readers, talk about a frigging writer’s block.  I wrote Part I of this 2-part post back on December 19.   Over a month ago.  If you’ve read me before, thanks for hanging in there.  If you are a first-time reader, welcome.  Enough already.  Let’s get on with what I think are some valuable, easy-to-learn, easy-to-maintain, easy-to-perform under stress in real situation Fighting Arts that you can teach your children at home.  Teach them these arts and I damn near guarantee your child will be able to:

 

  1. Prevent the bully from selecting him or her as a victim.
  2. Delay and discourage even the preliminary stages of a physical attack.
  3. But, if the attack comes, repel the assault and easily escape and evade injury

 

STEP 1.  (RE) READ PART I.  The 12/19 article suggested some key steps,  including taking on the role of your child’s Safety Coach and teaching him or her Tough Target Skills that, if adopted, will create an aura that will not make him an easy target for bullying.

STEP 2.  NEGOTIATE A PLEDGE FROM YOUR CHILD that he is willing to do whatever it takes, within reason, of course, to make a bully go away.  After all, Bully-Be-Gone Tactics requires, more than even ability, a readiness and willingness to do what it takes.  Standing up to a bully, after all, takes courage, make no mistake.  Taking a pledge from your son or daughter that they will take their training seriously and commit themselves to it, is a very, very big step toward achieving the ultimate goal, which is to make the bully go away, forever (and, oh, how liberating a feeling that will be!)

STEP 3.  MAKE THIS TRAINING A FAMILY DEFENSE PLAN.  Make standing up for oneself and defending oneself family values.

STEP 4.  PARENTS, BE SAFETY COACHES.  If you read Step 1, you know this.  If you did not, read it now.

STEP 5.  DEVELOP AND TEACH FROM A LESSON PLAN OF FIGHTING SKILLS.  Make sure the skills you arrive at are simple, easy to learn, based on symmetrical, gross motor skills, are easily doable under stress, and, since many of these might be exercised in the school environment where a zero-violence policy exists, injury-friendly.

 

HAMMER’S BULLY-BE-GONE COUNTER-BULLY SUCCESS FORMULA

 

  1. BREATHE DON’T FREEZE!.  Teach your child that the first thing they need to do when attacked is to fight the natural urge to freeze and hold his or her breath.  98% of victims do this, which is why they are victims.  Tactical breathing sends oxygenated blood to the brain.
  2. VERBALIZE.  Nine out of 10 victims not only freeze but say nothing as the bully invades his or her space.  Tell the bully that you intend to stand up for yourself.  Ask him to step back; tell him to step back and then warn him to get back before you counter attack.
  3. CONTROL YOUR SPACE.  Personal space is a fighting issue and the bully will attempt to immediately Depreciate the Victim by stepping in to his or her PSZ (Personal safe Zone).  Breathe, Talk, Establish a Balanced Ready Stance, and Move is the correct sequence here.
  • Breathe
  • “”George, I told you, get back!”
  • Balanced posture, strong foot back, knees bent, eye contact and weak hand up near face.
  • Move diagonally to maintain your distance (5 to 6’).
  1. HAVE A GAME PLAN.  Teach your child some reasonable escape and evasion tactics.  Key here is your child needs to have a number 1 plan of action as well as a back-up plan (failure plan).  Once he or she loads the plan in his or her brain, he or she is Spinal Tuned for action.  If she/he has no plan, there is a good chance he or she will freeze like a deer in the headlights when an attack comes).
  2. LOAD “SURPRISE” INTO THE GAME PLAN.  Especially if your child is not physically well equipped for dominating a fight, surprise is a key to victory.  A few notes about “surprise” at the end of this article.
  3. SET THE BAD GUY BACK ON HIS/HER HEELS.   Take the fight to the bully before he can take the first swing!  The bully has chosen your kid, most likely because she or he feels your kid is an easy target.  Invoke “Surprise” by taking the initiative.  Knowing when to “take the fight to the bully” is a key, of course:

IMPORTANT NOTE BY HAMMER:  I understand that fighting back or any use of aggression is discouraged by your school and maybe even the community.  I understand also that, by fighting back, your child may be subject to AUTOMATIC SUSPENSION.  Be aware though that these are “Escape & Evasion” Tactics where most likely the “attacker” will not be injured in any way.  They key here is twofold:  Number 1, to quickly and safely escape the bully, and, number 2, to establish & maintain self-respect.  Never forget”  Bullying ultimately, if left unchecked, has catastrophic effect on self-image, and, in the end, can lead to depression, even suicide.  

In the end. mom & dad, it is up to you what you teach as Safety Coaches.  But, please, take a look here.  The next 4 elements are dead-bang red flags (predictors) that a punch, head butt, hair pull, kick, or worse is about to devastate your child!

  • AFTER THE BAD GUY THREATENS YOU.
  • AFTER THE BULLY SHOVES YOU.
  • AFTER THE BAD GUY POKES YOU WITH HUIS OR HER FINGER (IN THE CHEST).
  • AFTER THE BULLY DISREGARDS YOUR REQUEST TO “STAY BACK” &, IF AND WHEN THE BULLY STARTS STRIDING TOWARD YOU WITH MENACING BODY LANGUAGE!

THIS IS WHEN TO CALL ON THE FIGHTING ARTS (ESCAPE & EVASION).

  1. USE REALISTIC AND EFFECTIVE ESCAPE & EVASION TACTICS:
  • KEEP MOVING, HANDS UP.
  • MIRROR CALM. LOOK FEROCIOUS,  THINK FEROCIOUS.  DO NOT COMMUNICATE FEAR.
  • TIE THE BULLY UP (MAKE SURE TO GET YOUR ARMS ABOVE HIS/HERS).  I call this “The Turtle.”  All your doing is ducking your head and grabbing the bull around his waste).
  • ONCE YOU HAVE HIM TIED UP, DRIVE YOUR TOE HARD SEVERAL TIMES INTO HIS/HER LOWER SHINS.
  • THIS WILL MAKE HIM LOOSEN OR DROP HIS GRIP ON YOU. “OPEN HIS DOOR” BY PLACING YOUR WEAK HAND ON HIS OPPOSITE SHOULDER AND YOUR STRONG HAND ON THAT HIP AND SHOVE DOWNWARD AND BACK AT A 45 DEGREE ANGLE.
  • STEP THROUGH THE OPEN DOOR AND GET OUT OF DODGE.

 

Next Post:  The Element of Surprise and Bully-Be-Gone.

Until then, Stay Safe.

HAMMER
                              

                              

 

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