BULLY BE GONE—NOW!

From what I can see, boys and girls are being bullied in our schools and neighborhoods more than ever before. Bullied in all its pernicious forms. The good news is, unlike all the other self defense situations, there is a definite and distinct counter-bullying strategy that I can pretty much guarantee will unceremoniously dismiss the gangster wannabe in pretty short order.

Understanding that the bully has a simple script in his or her head. Driven by seeing, sensing and/or smelling the victim’s (debilitating and paralyzing) fear is central to the attack. His or her victim’s fear is like blood on the water to a shark. Moreover, the more the victim not only shows fear but does not act , the more confident, the bolder will be the bully. This is a bad thing, Hammer Fans, because the fear-driven bully will rarely be satisfied with scaring the bejesus out of his or her prey; more often than not, the script will not end until his or her poor prey gets pretty badly damaged, both physically and emotionally.

STEP 1: Be Aware. You are Being Marked.

Awareness is a great strategic component. Simply being aware that there are a handful of miserable youngsters out there who shark the schoolyard and hallways of your school or neighborhood tracking and hunting for an easy victim. Often, a bully becomes a bully almost inadvertently when he or she finds a boy or girl he or she just plain does not like (or, is part of a peer group who chooses to target a particular child/teenager) and when he/she taunts that child discovers that the kid is scared to death. Most bullies, however, have been bullies ever since they could curl their fist, and, these are the bitches and bastards who are going to harass you until they learn that it does not work on you!

There is nothing subtle about being aware. You will know you have been chosen as a target the minute he or she begins to harass and torment you, so just being Aware is not enough.

Step 2: No Free Lunch, Baby!

BULLIES want a Free Lunch, or Easy Target. They will rarely choose prey that displays confidence and fearlessness. Did I say, rarely? Make that Never. Therefore, it make sense to take inventory of how you present yourself to others, especially those jerks and jerkettes who might be lurking your neighborhood and school yards trolling for victims.

1. Stride CONFIDENTLY when you walk.
2. Eyeball your surroundings. Let the potential bully know you are aware of him or her and you are ready. If he or she approaches, do not look down or away, even though you may want to do so. Maintain steady eye contact, although do not challenge him with constant eye-contact, which will be interpreted as a challenge.
3. LESS IS MORE. Keep your verbal response or comments brief. A good one might be, “What?” Avoid any lengthy statements and repetitive “requests” that will be interpreted as weakness (“Please leave me alone. I don’t want any trouble.”).
4. LOOK ANNOYED OR BORED. The great John Hall, founder of Bully Escape and Kid Escape, advocates looking bored. I advocate a look of Hey, I really don’t have time for this crap. Whatever you do, Do Not Looked Scared, Dude or Dudette!
5. BE A WISE GUY/GAL. By now, many would-be bullies will have excused themselves and moved on to other victims. But for the determined, semi-pro bully who is still in your face and hurling personal threat and insults, I advocate showing moxie in the face of all those insults and intimidation. Sarcasm works well, trust me. “Hey, bitch, that’s the ugliest dress I ever saw (female bully).” Sarcastic Response: “Oh, goody. I should do pretty well in the Stupidest Dress Contest next week.”
6. USE A DISRACTION TECHNIQUE. The longer this confrontation goes on, the more the danger of an attack. Especially if a crowd gathers. The bully may feel compelled to forge ahead with an attack because withdrawing or disengaging is not an option. Look for an opportunity to break away. I teach kids to look away from the bully and say something like “Hey, Connie, or use any applicable name here,” and point at the “person (there could be a real or imaginary person here).” The point here is to re-direct the jerkette or jerk’s focus away from you, the target. When the bully turns to look, place your hand above his or her elbow and rotate him or her around (about 90 degrees), a technique I call Opening The Gate) and simply step through the gate and disengage. One caveat: Do not turn your back on the bully. Sidle away, keeping your eyes on him/her.
7. WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVE, PUSH OR SHOVE. Always be ready to fight, if it comes down to it. Just the determination to fight will give you an aura of readiness that all bullies recognize.

THE FIGHTING ARTS AND BULLIES

In the next post – The Fighting Arts and Counter-Bully Techniques.

Until Then, Stay Safe.

Hammer

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