MORE BULLY BE GONE

I am a bit surprised, to tell the truth, that I haven’t seen some criticism following my last post (“Bully Be Gone – Now!”)in which I boasted that if a youngster followed my suggestions, I guaranteed that all bullying would cease, like right then and there.  After I thought about it a while, though, I realized that there were too many types of bullying to make that boast.

 

TRUTH IS, the formula I propounded in my last post will most likely stop conventional bullying in its tracks – probably – but what does a kid do when he or she is a victim of telephone, computer, vicious rumor and other types of indirect bullying.

 

FOR INSTANCE, the youngster is standing, facing his or her locker, preoccupied, when one or more bullies approaches and (1)  pushes the unsuspecting kid face first into the locker; or, (2) a bully sneaks up behind another kid and knee bumps him or her above the shin (Tibial), causing his or her legs to collapse; or, (3) one student engages the victim in a conversation while another student kneels down behind the victim, and then the first student shoves the victim backwards with disastrous results.

 

INJURY MIGHT or might not result, but relentless embarrassment and even humiliation will definitely follow.  So, question is, what should the victim do to minimize the dame and/or to prevent future bullying?  The answer is not easy, but it is an answer nevertheless.

 

If the child knows who the assailant(s) are/is, I believe it is important for him or her to at least let the bully(ies) know he/she knows who they are and what they are up to.  Threats, intimidation and/or reprisal is not necessary.  A benign but sarcastic comment might be enough.  “Pretty cute, guys.  I was impressed.  Now, how about cutting it out, okay?”

 

This may be controversial, but I would tell your parents, if it continues.  Seek their counsel.  If it is a one-time act, I would keep it at home, especially if the child verbally confronts the bully(ies).  If it continues, then I believe it is time to advise the school of the bullying.

 

If you don’t know who the bully(ies) is/are, be aware that you have probably been targeted for whatever reason. If it happens once, it will probably happen again.  Stay alert, aware, assess the body language of those around you, and trust your gut feelings.  Prepare to protect yourself and to do whatever is necessary to stop bullying in its tracks.  Any student(s) approaching you with that cocky walk, that tell tale sneer on his, her, their face(s), anything that kicks off your “Spidey Senses,” should be treated without mercy.

 

By that I mean, stand tall, free up your hands, drop your power foot back and look confident and calm.  A wry smile working its way across your face wouldn’t hurt, either.  Do not look down and do not look away unless you want to liberate the Predator-Prey-Trigger in one or more of the bullies. 

 

Keep your remarks brief.  “What?”  might just be enough.  What you lookin’ at, Dude (or, Dog)?”  might even be better.  Your choice.  Always protect your PSZ (Personal Safe Zone)!  This is crucial.  Do not let anyone within five feet. 

 

“That’s close enough, Dog,” or some such warning statement, is necessary to say as the bully strides in despite your warning.  Once that distance is penetrated, especially when you have made it clear that was a no-no, you must do several things:

 

1.      J-Step, or move evasively.  Gain distance.  Do not cement yourself to the ground.

2.      Attain a Combat Ready Stance. 

3.      Breathe.

4.      Have a Pre-Planned Counterattack Strategy.  Always have a Plan-A and a Plan-B.  When your heart rate spikes beyond 175 BPM (Survival Stress will occur when you are either aggressive or fearful/you won’t be fearful if you have a plan of action and you are simply being task oriented, trust me), you will find it hard to formulate a fighting plan.

5.      Carry Out The Plan (only) When “Push Comes To Shove.”

6.      Invoke the Element Of Surprise:  The bully has advanced inside your PSZ most likely because he or she has taken you lightly and/or is acting for his peer group.  In the latter case, he will not back down.  A great Counter-Bully Surprise Strategy is to put up your hands (face high, palms out, hands moving back and forth) in a Compliance Stance and “beg” the bully, “Please don’t hurt me; please don’t hurt me!”  As he moves in over-confidently, shoot one or both of your hands and hit him hard with the heel of your palm(s).  In my experience, the shot will stun him and the surprise will knock him backwards.  Use my Open The Gate Strategy by rotating his center by spinning his elbow inward, step through, and go on your way.

THE FIGHTING ARTS AGAINST A BULLY

·     NEVER LOOK AFRAID.  LOOK EITHER BORED OR BARELY INTERESTED WHEN HE TRIES TO INTIMIDATE YOU.

·     KEEP YOUR REMARKS BRIEF.

·     USE GOOD DE-ESCALATION TECHNMIQUES.  DEFLECT PERSONAL INSULTS WITH REMARKS SHOWING DISINTEREST:  “Ugly?  Yeah, I guess I aint no Brad Pitt. “

·     USE DISTRACTION TECHNIQUES:  Shatter the bully’s mental and physical script by changing his channel from where he or she is to where you want him to be (your channel).  Distractions weaken the bully.  “Who the heck is that, Butch?”  “Holy cow, who’s ride is that (pointing in another direction)?”

·     Always move.  Move diagonally; keep your eyes on the bully.

·     Turtle Up and Tie the Bully Up.  Goal is to block incoming punches, tie him up, buy some time, and, when tactically safe, escape.  John Hall, the ingenious founder of Kid Escape and Bully escapeteaches these moves superbly on his DVD of the same title.

·     Escape and Evade ASAP.

 

In the next post, Amplifying the Fighting Arts Against A Bully.  I know many schools have a Zero Tolerance Policy regarding Fighting Back, but—-

Hammer

 

 

 

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