THOUGHT we could talk, you and me, about 5 Things All Students Want and Need. Comes from a great Verbal Judo paradigm that I call The Reductive Fist. The Fist goes to the core of developing and maintaining healthy and productive relationships with others. For the purpose of this post, I am adapting this principle for teachers trying to maintain safe classrooms.

FOR the record, The Fist is comprised of 5 elements every one of your students needs. Each element comprises one of the four fingers and the fifth – Respect – creates the Opposable Thumb. Used wisely and sensibly, these 5 Things, or elements, create an evenhanded fist, which can prove to create the Guidelines For Maintaining a Healthy and Safe Classroom.

THE 4 FINGERS AND OPPOSABLE THUMB OF DE-ESCALATION

1. FAIR TREATMENT. Perception IS reality, so “fair treatment” has a lot to do with perception. I do know this: The perception that one has been unfairly treated, picked on, is a prime motivator for student disruption. Fair Treatment, then, has a lot to do with the teacher, who needs to assure that he or she:

Ø Punishes students appropriately and proportionally (re severity, etc.) for his/her actions.

Ø Punishes Student A the same as for Student B for similar actions.

Ø Use consistent tone when addressing Student A and Student B, irrespective of the teacher’s personal feelings.

Ø Show respect for all students. Use Professional Face over Personal Face.

1. HONESTY. Students have amazing bull crap detection powers. Not only that they respect adults who can be honest and truthful with them. The other side of the coin is that they hold adults, especially teachers, in contempt when that dude or dudette feeds them large doses of crap in the form of platitudes and other forms of lies. My advise is, when possible, be as honest as possible, using the most straightforward terms. Honesty can also be crucial to defusing a disruptive or even violent student(s) because consistent honesty leads to respect for a teacher, In a crisis, that respect can contribute to that teachers ability to control a classroom. In my experience, there can be no control without respect, no respect without honesty. Think of it, a teacher who has been dishonest with his or her student(s) cannot be believed with certainty during a crisis!

1. CONSISTENCY. Teachers need to understand that their students oftentimes come from backgrounds, families and neighborhoods rife with inconsistency. Last thing many of them need, then, is a teacher who bounces from one extreme to the other. Students need to know they can depend on a teacher to react dependably to classroom stimuli over time. Inconsistency drives students nuts, to be sure. Children of Adult Alcoholics, for instance, never know if how they act will result in an affectionate hug or a severe beating. These children live in fear because something as innocuous as asking to bring a friend over for supper can result in a smile and an “of course” one day and a wolfish leer and a severe beating the next. Teachers who constantly fly from one extreme to the other when it comes to discipline, perks, grades, etc. have, in a less dramatic way, the same affect.

1. EQUITY. Much like “Fair Treatment,” Equity goes right to the top when it comes to Things That All Students Need. A great deal of my research (and personal experience) reveals that the perception of being (treated) less than is at the heart and soul of much of the catastrophic school violence we have witnessed in the last 15 years. Maybe you can think of some of your own experiences – I know I can- and how you felt when you perceived you were slighted, mistreated, maybe ignored when others were attended to or praised. Maybe as an adult you fight off the anger and resentment with a hard run or a workout. Nice for you. But as an immature adolescent, sometimes that buildup of rage is hard to sublimate. Sometimes impossible.

· Equity of Tone – Tone, especially Bad Tone, is probably the most dangerous term in the escalation of tension in a classroom. I always say that Bad Tone can be defined as the Parenthetical “A—hole” at the end of a sentence. In other words, “Hey, nice seeing you, pal, “ spoken with Bad Tone is perceived to be “Nice seeing you, a—hole!” Bad tone used to Student B when Good Tone is used with Student A, however, creates a stunning contrast that can spark a violent reaction.

· Equity of Discipline.

· Equity of Perks. Giving nice little classroom perks to your “pets,” while ignoring students who are equally deserving, or, even if not, have been passed over in the past, tends to cause resentment.

1. RESPECT. The whole equation comes down to the Opposable Thumb that allows us to close this Fist. All students need respect. Respect is at the heart of Verbal Judo as well as my Advanced De-escalation Techniques program. On many of our meaner streets, the perception by a young man and in some cases, young woman, that he or she is being disrespected, according to many gang protocols, means that someone has to die. In many schools, the formula for violence against other students or even against teachers is: Disrespect = Dissin and Dissin = Death. What I am advocating here is that teachers actually adopt a Tactical Attitude regarding Respect that I believe will go a long way toward fulfilling what every student needs, and, therefore, contribute to a safer classroom.

Tactical Respect is a reductive attitude that advocates that a teacher does not have to feel respect for a student(s), but what he or she must do is to show respect for a student. The concept of showing respect is a safety technique, actually, and, most likely, one of the most effective de-escalation tactics possible. Tactical Respect is central to a Professional approach to classroom management. On the other hand, showing disrespect for a disruptive or out of control student when one feels disrespect is indicative to a Personal approach. A de-escalation adage to remember, then, is an attack on personal face is always a fighting issue!

By Hammer

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