Howdy again.  Part VI of my continuing series for parents on becoming your kid’s Safety Coach and teaching your child/ children a cluster of skills that can:

  • Help them to Identify and escape threatening situations.
  • Make them safer using site-specific strategies from the playground to the shopping mall.
  • Allow them to make intelligent decision when you, the parent(s) are not there.
  • Help develop and foster self-confidence, so crucial to standing up for oneself (bullies) and escaping and evading the dreaded sexual predator (and/or bullies).
  • Learn a cluster of simple yet effective strategies, tactics and techniques specifically designed to escape the clutches of the recidivistic, psychotic and deadly adult predator.
  • Learn a cluster of simple skills and strategies to escape and evade, and, if necessary, effectively counterattack bullies.

SAFETY COACH TEACHING GOAL NUMBER 1 probably should be working with your child(ren) on Self-Control.  Yessiree.  Effective crime prevention and survival require self-control.  Makes sense.  Before you or your child can control an outside force, you first need to be able to control yourself.  My goal in all my posts is winning (the source of my other self-defense blog site as well as KSS is The School of Winology) and I hope Safety Coaches start by explaining to their kids that” even if a threat is “outside” their body, the first action steps toward winning are literally “inside” their body (Debbie and Mike Gardner from Raising Kids Who Can Protect Themselves).


According to the Gardner’s, “there are three “inside” actions needed for internal self-control and emotional recovery:


  1. Breathe to move oxygen.
  2. Grip Hands to circulate blood.
  3. Think Positive for motivation to survive, no matter what.


I would like to add what I think is an even more crucial “inside action,” and that is Explode Into Action Upon First Contact!  And, actually, in my Self-Defense for Children and CAT (Counter-Abduction Tactics) classes I use the principle of  Breathe Don’t Freeze!  I think this is a crucial survival principle because whether it is breathing that perpetuates and initiates movement, or breathing is incidental to movement, the vital fact here is that movement is critical to survival!  To me it matters little.  When I train children, or, adults, for that matter, I use First Contact by the bully, the criminal, or the sexual predator/abductor as a TRIGGER to initiate movement.  I would respectfully suggest to parents that they combine Tactical or Cycle Breathing with Tactical Movement.

Once again, I cannot overstate this:  98 to 99% of child victims freeze when first touched by either an adult predator or even a same-aged bully!  Moreover, I flat out guarantee that those same children are holding their collective breath!


Why?  Because all victims freeze!  Or at least 98% of them do.  I admit, some “victims” do not freeze and do everything they are taught to do, but circumstances and the fact that their attacker is a larger, more experienced, violent adult male who has planned out the attack for months, and, has chosen a moment when the child is most vulnerable, are way too much to overcome, and, despite heroic efforts they become those tragic child disappearance stories in our local newspapers.  But the fact remains, frightened and helpless children stop breathing, and, when they stop breathing, they freeze, making them the ideal victim or prey for a sexual predator (and/or a bully).


Teach your children, then, to gain self-control in any threatening situation by restoring their regular circulation.  Teach him/her/ or them to breathe deeply from the belly, not the chest, inhaling through the nose and exhaling out of the mouth.  When I get into the actual Kid Escape Tactics in a later post, as a matter of fact, I will suggest to parents that they always direct their children during role play scenarios to breathe before performing the Kid Escape Drills.


The School of Winology Tactical Breathing Sequence is inhale slowly through the nose for a count of 3 or 4 and hold for another count of 3 or 4 (your choice).  While your child is holding his or her breath have them close their eyes and visualize something relaxing.  Now, breathe smoothly through the mouth for another elongated count of 3 or 4.

Repeat this drill several times.  I prefer 5 repetitions, but it is your choice as the Safety Coach.  After acclimation, I have my students go from visualizing a beach, or something they feel is relaxing and calming to visualizing actual “combat,” where they see themselves escaping a possible abductor or bully or whatever.


But that is for another time way down the line.  I combine the “Survival Visualization” with our realistic scenarios (role plays).


Until then, Stay Safe.



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