DEFUSE ANYONE, ANY TIME. PART 4
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KEEP SCHOOLS SAFE
August 4, 2009
DEFUSE ANY STUDENT. ANY TIME, ANY WHERE. PART 4.
In my last post I detailed the Five Times When Words Fail (the acronym SAFER representing Security; Attack; Flight; Excessive Repetition; and Revised Priorities). But, other than those occasions, which, for the most part, represent tactical circumstances requiring a transition to physical countermeasures, I believe I have a great system of reductive verbal techniques that can de-escalate or defuse anyone, anytime.
ATTITUDE AND PHILOSOPHY.
As I revealed in Part I, the most crucial part of this reductive approach to disruptive students/people is the attitude you adopt when dealing with the student/disruptive person. Believing that you can defuse the person is central to that. Other crucial attitudes include:
D.E.F.U.S.E.
Do not lose your cool. Depersonalize. Depreciate the Verbal Icon and Deflect verbal attacks instead of absorbing them. Again, these are all attitudinal. Keys are never to take personal attacks personally; and the best way to do that is to depreciate the attacks, deflect them as if you were calmly blocking an incoming punch.
Eliminate Ego to increase your Safety and Powder. Encourage the student to vent (of course, set limits). It has long been my believe that Ego is the most dangerous word in law enforcement, and the same thing goes for teachers and security personnel.
Find out the Facts. Central to defusing anyone or any scene is gathering intelligence. Ask artful questions and you will never make disastrous assumptions and/or pre-judgments that ruin any chance of rapport. Not only that, artful questions can fracture the student’s anger by redirecting his or her focus internally.
Understand Feelings, or Empathy.
Slow things down. Talk and move slower, use softer language, be, or at least act sincere. Give the student the time to think and to respond through his/her neo-cortex, or Smart Brain. At the same time, you – the teacher – will be able to do the same thing. Slowing things down also serves the purpose of Modeling the type of reductive behavior you hope the student will adopt.
End on a positive note,
Next Post. The Five Step Hard Style and the Be Nice Equation.
Until then, Stay Safe.
Hammer
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Posted on August 4th, 2009 by Harry A Widger
Filed under: Administrators, College, High School, K-6, Parents, People Involved, School Grade Level, Students
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