School safety, security, and violence prevention resource

DE-ESCALATE DAMN NEAR ANY DISRUPTIVE SITUATION – A 3-PART BLOG SYMPOSIUM.

 

So sorry, Dear Reader, for the platitudinous heading, but I’m sure you know by now, that’s the way I roll.  Course, I really don’t think I’m exaggerating more than a scosh or two.  You be the judge, if you’re willing to hang in there for this 3-Part symposium directed at maximizing your ability – whether you be a parent, a teacher, administration, or a security specialist – to defuse disruptive and/or (potentially) violent students.

 

PART I:  THE FOUNDATION OF DE-ESCALATION.

 

The Most Critical Rule:  It may go without saying, but, hell, I’m going to say it anyway:  In order to de-escalate any aggressive and/or emotionally distraught individual, you must always first defuse yourself.  After all, you are the only person in this rapidly decomposing scenario whom you can actually control!  Course, it must be said that defusing yourself is not as simple as it may sound.  Defusing yourself requires you to first identify your weaknesses and strengths so you can maximize those strengths and minimize your weaknesses during confrontational situations.  A key task for anyone wanting to master the Art of De-Escalation is to identify those Hot Buttons and Triggers that, when pushed, often cause you to lose control of yourself, even if for only a second or two.  Work on eliminating those triggers, or, at least as I was able to do, consciously unload your guns by Trigger-Guarding those buttons before any confrontational situation.

 

THE PRO-COM PHILOSOPHY.  I have always claimed that true de-escalation is an Unnatural Act.  A central axiom for my Advanced De-Escalation Techniques program is that “to react from one’s natural and true core is to invite disaster, maybe even catastrophe.”  Think about it.  What are your true feelings when physically or verbally attacked?  When cursed, threatened, intimidated, or called vile names?  Your natural reaction would include intimidation, counter-threats, profanity, belittling, defensiveness.  Instead, respond with Professional Communications (Pro Com).  Respond with the following Reductive Principles in mind:

 

·         SLOW EVERYTHING DOWN.  Slow down the speed with which you respond.  Avoid a spontaneous and automatic reaction to a verbal attack.  Slow down how you walk and slow down your hand gestures.  Your are modeling how the student should act.

·         BREATHE AND THINK.

·         MIRROR (MODEL) CALM.

·         ALWAYS RESPOND PROFESSIONALLY, NEVER PERSONALLY.

·         BE NICE UNTIL YOU CAN NO LONGER BE NICE, TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS, AND BE NICE AGAIN.  You being nice when everything is out of control is the last thing the student expects.  It often stuns him or her for a second or two, time enough for you to regain control.

·         TRULY BELIEVE YOU CAN DEFUSE ANY SITUATION.

·         USE POSITIVE BODY LANGUAGE.

 

Next Post.  Part II, and more on the above techniques.

 

Stay Safe.  Hammer

 

 

 

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