BULLY-BE-GONE – How Your Child (Or, Student) Can Avoid the Bully

You may recall in my last post, we chatted about the consequences of unchecked bullying (on our children, their mental health, their future well-being, etc).  Well, how about we chat about how to “check” that bully cold?  Of course, you might realize, as do I, that nothing about this will be easy.  It’s going to take a commitment by the teacher, the school administrator, the parent, and, of course, the child or teenager.  I say this now with heartfelt sincerity, that, if you are reluctant to get involved in the Bully-Be-Gone Campaign – my 4th book is going to hit this subject hard & this campaign will be at its heart – I’d like you to consider the consequences of doing nothing, if you have school age children, or if you are a teacher who enjoys the trust of scores of children.  Depression, a sense of hopelessness, poor self-image, flagging academic achievement, and in way too many cases, suicidal ideation.


  • Starts at home.  Parents becoming Support Coaches.  Stress-free conversations with the child.  Ask questions.  Listen.  Coach (more on this in another post/I’ve preached this in previous posts, also).
  • Parents:  Let someone at school know what is going on or your suspicions, fears.
  • Coach child how to recognize bullies, where they are.  Child should avoid bullies, if possible.
  • Use Hard Target Habits, like avoiding being caught alone with possible bullies in high-impact bullying areas, like bathrooms, deserted hallways, gym showers, etc.
  • If child/teen cannot avoid these areas, always go in understanding vulnerability & always have a plan (Tough Target Thinking).
  • Use the Buddy System.  Perhaps buddy up with another bully-target.  Create a pact to help each other.  The more friends you have, the least likely you will be a victim.
  • Teach your child how to ACT BRAVE.  It’s a self-defense principle we call “Fake it ’til You Make It (Read my book “Super Secret Police S**t That Can Save Your Life,” on Amazon).
  • Every Initial Bully Approach starts with “The Interview,” a process where the bully “tests” his or her intended victim to see if he or she is going to fight or resist in some way, shape or form.  A street-wise Support or Survival Coach (parent) can and should coach the child on how to respond in such a way and in such a manner to discourage the bully.
  • Part of the “Act Brave” suggestion is to Talk & Walk!  T & W basically means that the intended victim understands the (body) language of a Tough Target (again, please consider reading my Super Secret Self Defense book for some safety preserving skills) & develops the ability to Walk Safely (yes, I know there is a safe and unsafe way to walk away/the safe way is to say something like, “Tommy, sorry, pal, but I don’t have time for this,” keep your eyes on him and walk away while still looking at him/be ready for anything) away from bully & do the following:
  1. Anticipate:  If you’ve been a victim before, you need to anticipate the next “attack.”  You & your coach need to work out a cool verbal response to repel the interview. 
  2. Breathe:  Literally 98% of victims get scared and hold their breath.  Breathing is essential for mental, emotional & physical self-defense.  Breathe!
  3. Do Say Something.  Have a plan.  Act out that plan. 
  4. Know the environment!  There are always “barricades” in the area you can use to separate yourself from him or her.  Chair, desks, waste cans, etc.
  5. When pushed into a corner and it is obvious the bully is going to physically attack, make the decision to fight.  
  6. When it comes to fighting, in my Bully-Be-Gone book, I will outline some pretty safe and effective ways to quickly defend yourself and get out of that scene quickly and, hopefully, without suffering a suspension.
  7. More about Fighting in next post.

Until then, stay safe.

The Hammer

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